Horst Schrempf

Horst Schrempf is Gish Gallop's occasional columnist and reluctant correspondent. He typically re-covers the beats already covered by previous reporters, adding more adjectives and sometimes adverbs to their copy. It actually works quite well. We think Mr. Schrempf lives in Grass Valley, CA, however we have not been able to determine his exact location. We suspect he might be hiding in Thailand. Last we heard, Mr. Schrempf was single, having lost his 2nd wife after the foundation of their self-built, Nevada City home gave way and crushed her in the crawl space.
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Mattel Scraps Plans for Seeking Arrangement Barbie

Mattelâ„¢ Corporation announced this week that they were scrapping plans for a new "Seeking Arrangement Barbie" who uses her ravishing good looks and high sexual availability to attract the financial lavishments and amorous attentions of fiscally secure older men.

Persistent Volunteer Kills Town’s Can-Do Spirit

A local woman's chronic volunteerism is being blamed by townsfolk for robbing them of their initiative and dulling their once notable can-do spirit.

West Virginia Introduces Rapist Bill of Rights

West Virginia announced new legislation granting recognition to the previously nonexistent paternal rights of rapist fathers both in and out of prison.

Newton Reveals That He Is Black Quarterback

Carolina Panthers superstar, Cam Newton, delivered a startling revelation during his Thursday meet and greet with Super Bowl media, disclosing for the first time that he is, in fact, a black quarterback.

Horst Schrempf

Horst Schrempf is Gish Gallop's occasional columnist and reluctant correspondent. He typically re-covers the beats already covered by previous reporters, adding more adjectives and sometimes adverbs to their copy. It actually works quite well. We think Mr. Schrempf lives in Grass Valley, CA, however we have not been able to determine his exact location. We suspect he might be hiding in Thailand. Last we heard, Mr. Schrempf was single, having lost his 2nd wife after the foundation of their self-built, Nevada City home gave way and crushed her in the crawl space.
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