November, 2021

Freyja Throrsdottir

Freyja Throrsdottir is a resident troublemaker and rabble rouser, if there's no story she'll create one. She was definitely not involved the North San Juan Poison Grain disaster of 1979 or the Sausalito Whale Combustion of 1982. Freyja resides in Alta with her dog, Boing. She was briefly married but tragically lost her husband to a wasting illness, never identified. In her spare time Freyja tends an award winning poison garden, she's received such honors as biggest deadly nightshade blossom and most toxic White Oleander stem. She attended Northwestern University where he achieved a Masters in Journalism and she's been the recipient of the Prevaricator Award in outstanding journalism, the Fabulist Award for investigative journalism and 12 Pulitzers.
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Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer Enjoying His New Life Following Rock Band Phish

In a shocking turn of events, former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced he was following the rock band Phish.

Attention-starved Local Man Starts #allgenitalsmatter Movement

In retaliation to the "Me Too" posts on Facebook, Penn Valley local Trent Turco has created the #allgenitalsmatter movement.

A Reddit Argument Convinces Special Counsel Robert Mueller to End Russia Probe

After a tough 3 day Facebook argument, Special Counsel Robert Mueller is officially closing the investigation into the Trump campaign and the Russian hacking into the election. After a heated 72 hour battle with Trump supporters On Reddit.com's popular subreddit "the_donald," Mueller finally caved.

Trump Demands Refund for Election

In a shocking case of buyer’s remorse, President Trump is demanding a refund for expenses incurred during his campaign.

Info Wars Website Fans Dismayed at Lady Gaga’s Relatively Normal Halftime Show

Fans of Alex Jones' InfoWars website were disappointed on Sunday by the normalcy of the event.
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Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.