August, 2022

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

Health Nut News Facebook Page Bought by Gish Gallop

Moments after being shut down for violating Facebook's community standards, the 92-year-old publication Gish Gallop purchased the troubled page and planned to relaunch it as an orgonite and pro-beef industry re-education page.

Local Farmer/Band Leader Chooses FedEx for All His Shipping Needs

Local business man, band leader and seasonal farmer Moonash knows how to choose a shipping provider for all his cross-state shipping needs.

Oregon to Force Customers to Pump Gas

In the first change to laws that were put in place in 1951, the Oregon State Legislature has voted to abandon the requirement that only gasoline station attendants can pump gas, and require that its customers do it. The controversial bill passed both government houses and the governor has promised to sign it.

Area Man Reads James Joyce’s Ulysses for 18 Straight Hours

Area man and burgeoning author Roy Riffle spent the entire weekend reading Irish writer James Joyce's Ulysses on Broad Street in Nevada City.

Local Middle School to add 6 More “No Smoking” Signs

Area middle school administrators announced on Monday that they would be adding an additional 6 "No Smoking" signs on the campus to accompany the 8 that currently are being displayed on the campus.


Mexican Cartels Using Drones to Traffic Children and Fentanyl

The drones are capable of carrying 54kgs (120lbs) of payload upwards of 20km (12.4 miles) from cartel bases within Mexico

Joel Osteen Now Offering Payday Loans

"It's God's will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty," said Mr. Osteen commenting on his new enterprise.

Corporate Stock Buy Backs Allow Chipotle Worker to Continue to Live Just Above the Poverty Line

Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that she's excited about the almost 1 trillion dollars worth of corporate stock buy-backs.

Report: Siri and Alexa Tryst Produces Concerning Offspring

An online hookup between Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa has produced the Internet's first AI offspring.

Cancer Patient Prays to God For Help, God Says Nope

During a late-night prayer session, Louise and Sam prayed incessantly to God. And for hours, nothing. Not a peep from the almighty. Not even a small sign from above.