November, 2021

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.
661 POSTS

Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority Releases New Music Video

Following a bizarre incident this week where a six-car train with passengers on board left a suburban Boston transit station and went through four stations without stopping, the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority or MBTA released a new music video in attempts to calm the nerves of the public.

Syrian Refugees Overlay American Flag on their Facebook Profiles

In a show of solidarity with recent gun violence in the United States, Syrian refugees have taken to overlaying their Facebook profiles with American flags.

Area Senior Can No Longer Print

Mr. Rodriguez prints "every god-damned email" he gets because he's afraid he'll lose it. Reynaldo M. Rodriguez's printer has stopped working.

Area Waitress Attempts to Serve Passive-Aggressive Customers

Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.

Team America: World Police Depart For Paris

In light of the recent terrorist attack in Paris, France, and the possibility more might come, The United States' premiere fighting force, Team America: World Police departed for France early Thursday morning.
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Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.