May, 2022

Chip Day

Chip Day lives on the grid, makes a reasonable income, pays both his income and property taxes and perhaps most incredibly raising kids that he sends to non-charter public schools! All that and he doesn't have a single visible tattoo, creative piercing, or membership in any of the many cranky political movements popular in Penn Valley.
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Area Handyman Arrives For Second Cup of Free Coffee

According to Ms. Madison and several bank employees, Mr. Snow came in again that afternoon for a second cup of coffee.

Area “Flattard” Thinks “Flattard” Might be a Derogatory Slur

Area Flat Earth believer Ben M. Walkowiaksky believes that his new Facebook nickname "Flattard" might be a derogatory slur. Mr. Walkowiaksky was christen "Flattard Supreme" by the administrators of the popular Flat Earth Facebook Group "Flat Earth Education" over the weekend.

Bottled Water Store Opening Soon In Grass Valley

Earlier this week, two local businessmen announced plans to open what they believe is the county's first bottled water only store.

ISIS Training Camp Busted Up At Nevada County State Park

Local authorities and Federal law enforcement have broken up an elaborate ISIS terrorist operation in the Sierra Foothills state park Malakoff Diggins.

Area Man Claims He Can Defeat ISIS with Pork and Goats

An area man claims that he can defeat Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL), also known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria or ISIS, with various pork products and goat sex. Trey Collins has grown tired of what he perceives as a lack of action by the United States government in dealing with the growing ISIS menace.
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Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.