June, 2022

Bored Georgeman

Horace "Bored" Georgeman joins Gish Gallop staff as our weekly columnist. Mr. Georgeman moved from San Francisco to Penn Valley after growing impatient with the traffic, yuppies and rent control. Mr. Georgeman has written widely for the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Jose Mercury news where he hosted weekly columns on hygiene and electronics. His proudest moment came when he was accidentally published in Mad Magazine. Currently Mr. Georgeman lives in Lake Wildwood near Gish Gallop Office. Gish Gallop hired him on the spot after he complained about our obsession with chemtrails and defecation. He has 8 children, is a practicing Catholic and is currently married to his second wife Wilma. His first wife was killed in a San Francisco Peet’s coffee roaster in the Marina District under suspicious circumstances.
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Gavin Newsom Suggests Draining Lake Tahoe to Solve Future Droughts

Lake Tahoe has 39 trillion gallons of water. That is enough water to supply everyone in the United States with 75 gallons per day for five years.
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Local Schizophrenic Lawyer Sues Self for Fall

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Protesters Tear Down Georgia Guidestones

The controversial apocalyptic Georgia monument proclaiming end-of-the-world scenarios was toppled this past week by a group of leftwing activists.

Woman Legally Incorporates Uterus to Avoid Government Regulation

Taking a page from the Republican Party's handbook, Mary Penland of Fresno, CA has incorporated her Uterus in an attempt to gain the many regulatory exemptions many corporations enjoy.

Bernie Sanders: I Will Make America Metric

Bernie Sanders announced to a crowd of over 14,000 people at a campaign stop at NYU in New York City that when he is elected President, his first executive action will include a plan to convert America's ancient imperial measures and units to the metric system.

Obama Offers to Trade SCOTUS Pick for Second Amendment

President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) has reportedly sent word to Senate Majority Mitch McConnell (R-KY) that he is willing to negotiate a deal in which the president would willingly sacrifice his Supreme Court nomination in exchange for the Second Amendment.