November, 2021

Bored Georgeman

Horace "Bored" Georgeman joins Gish Gallop staff as our weekly columnist. Mr. Georgeman moved from San Francisco to Penn Valley after growing impatient with the traffic, yuppies and rent control. Mr. Georgeman has written widely for the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Jose Mercury news where he hosted weekly columns on hygiene and electronics. His proudest moment came when he was accidentally published in Mad Magazine. Currently Mr. Georgeman lives in Lake Wildwood near Gish Gallop Office. Gish Gallop hired him on the spot after he complained about our obsession with chemtrails and defecation. He has 8 children, is a practicing Catholic and is currently married to his second wife Wilma. His first wife was killed in a San Francisco Peet’s coffee roaster in the Marina District under suspicious circumstances.

Gavin Newsom Suggests Draining Lake Tahoe to Solve Future Droughts

Lake Tahoe has 39 trillion gallons of water. That is enough water to supply everyone in the United States with 75 gallons per day for five years.

Local Newspaper Publisher Accidentally Shuts Down Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco, CA -- The iconic Golden Gate Bridge...


Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.