Melinda Harborshauer reacting after learning that she can not use medical marijuana for anesthesia.
Melinda Harborshauer reacting after learning that she can not use medical marijuana for anesthesia.

Nevada City, CA — After meeting with her surgeon at Sutter Roseville Medical Center in Roseville, CA,  38-year-old Nevada City resident Melinda Harborshauer insisted that she be allowed to use medical marijuana for both anesthesia and post operation pain management. Ms. Harborshauer, who is having major abdominal surgery, maintains that its her right to choose the kinds of “chemicals” she puts in her body.

“I hate Big Pharma as much as the next person,” said Ms. Harborshauer just prior to her weekend surgery. “I don’t want those chemicals in my body. Sure, they’re removing a section of my colon, but I’m not gonna fall for Big Pharma’s tricks. Like how they’re giving Oxycontin to 11 year olds with coughs! It’s crazy.”

According to Hospital officials, Ms. Harborshauer will not be allowed to proceed with the surgery without proper anesthesia.

“We’ve reviewed Ms. Harborshauer request and have denied it,” said head of surgery Dr.Debra Riley. “We recommend that she follow the standard protocols for anesthesia. Until she agrees to that, we can not proceed with the surgery. We strongly recommend that she reconsider opting in for the procedure, as her illness is progressing quickly and can be treated.”

News of the denial met with considerable consternation from Ms. Harborshauer.

“This is a travesty. This is how Big Pharma is controlling our medicine,” said a clearly exasperated Ms. Harborshauer, as she grabbed her upper abdomen. “They get to pull the plug on any treatment simply by making us take chemicals we believe are harmful. But I’m not giving up until they let me have my surgery my way.”

Ms. Harborshauer family members have a different take on her stubbornness.

“Mel has always been suspicious of everything,” said brother Jim Harborshauer in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “I love her, but she can be really out there. She needs this surgery to save her life. And this carrying on about Big Pharma, in my opinion, is more about her fear of the unknown than some vast corporate conspiracy to poison her with chemicals.”

As of this writing, Ms. Harborshauer has not changed her mind about following surgery medication protocols.

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