Area Scientist Demonstrates High-Tech Levitation

Edward Grant's floating boat seen here on an undisclosed local lake.
Edward Grant’s floating boat seen here on an undisclosed local lake.

Cascade Shores, CA — Area man Edward Grant, 63 of Nevada City, CA took his prototype “floating boat” out for a spin on a local lake this past weekend. His boat, the Grand Finale, is a modest 32 foot vessel which has been retrofitted with what Mr. Grant calls a “quantum flux enablement device” which apparently disrupts gravitation fields.

“As anyone who hasn’t graduated from public school knows, gravity is a weak force in the universe,” said a cocky Mr. Grant in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “We already know that if we interfere with the quantum forces around gravity, we can manipulate it. The trick is not to fight gravity, but work with it.”

According to family members, the Senior Grant has always been a “tinkerer” and often spoke highly of other Nevada County innovators who were called cranks during their time.

“Dad is just one of those guys who believes he can do whatever he sets his mind to,” said Edward Grant’s daughter in law Stacy Grant of Nevada City. He’s got this mad scientist laboratory on his property. The kids love it because he’s got all these Tesla coils and and all kinds of other weird things I don’t understand. Anyhow this levitation thing has been a life long dream of his. He says he’s a modern Lyman Gilmore. Sometimes I think he’s channeling his spirit, but not his hygiene thank god.”

The Senior Grant would not go into an specifics about how we was able to levitate his water craft, saying that he’s keeping his invention somewhat “hush” at the moment.

“I can’t get into any details,” continued Mr. Grant. “But it involves a lot of energy and magnets.” As to why he chose a boat and something not more practical like a car he added, “[e]veryone is expecting a flying car, you know? I wanted something a little more unusual. Obviously this technology can be used in anything, but that’s for other engineers to figure out.”