Austin, TX — According to several eyewitnesses, an armada of Trump supporters were quickly sunk when several ANTIFA submarines attacked, taunted, and sunk as many as five boats earlier this week. The Austin event, organized by the Texas-based MAGA Boaters, took to Lake Travis to celebrate their enthusiasm for President Trump, not knowing that the radical anarchist group ANTIFA had planned an amphibious counter-attack.
“Decorate your boats in patriotic colors and fly as many Trump flags as she can handle!” the Facebook page for the Lake Travis Trump Boat Parade encouraged. “Let’s really make a statement!”
The statement wasn’t what they intended. When the hundreds of boats started moving together, ANTIFA launched as many as 4 Sputnik-class submarines from a nearby marina. Before long, the Travis County Sheriff’s Office had received 15 distress calls of torpedo attacks from various Campbell’s soup cans. It received three more reports of boats taking on water from a local towing company.
One of the boats inundated with water after taking 14 Tomato soup cans to its starboard side was carrying several pro-Trump flags, including one with the message “Make the liberals cry again.” Although it did not capsize and sink, it had to be towed to shore by the Sheriff.
Law enforcement officers who were at the lake said no one was seriously injured, according to The Austin Statesman. Several members MAGA armada pledged to revenge the attack.
The lake is known for being sometimes difficult to navigate, especially with ANTIFA submarines nearby.