Newark, NJ — More Americans are flocking to the nation’s airports for healthcare after the United States Department of Health and Human Services approved TSA baggage scanners for costly medical services such as MRIs and CT scans. According to DHHS Secretary Xavier Becerra, the new service expects to save people upwards of $12 Billion per year in medical procedures.

Earlier this year, Newark Liberty International Airport began the controversial program, codenamed “Operation Wildebeast,” which allowed boarding passengers free check-ups through select baggage scanners. The idea was simple: give passengers a quick way to both scan their bodies and scan their luggage at the same time.

“Everyone knows that the number one cause of bankruptcy in the United States is unpaid medical bills,” said Liberty International Airport director of passenger relations Bethany Millbright. “It’s also no secret that our passengers complain of slow TSA lines and their inconveniences. So Operation Wildebeast simplified the screening process and offered people a way to scan for deadly diseases and conditions. That’s a win-win.”

“It was as easy as pie,” said Cherry Hill, Kentucky resident Berth Bottoms, heading home through Liberty International. “I didn’t have to take off my shoes or anything. I just climbed on the conveyor belt and went through the scanner holding my carry-on. My teeth fillings tingled a bit, but the nice lady at the tv monitor said that’s normal.”

Ms. Millbright noted that the new services have increased passenger throughput by as much as 9 seconds per encounter and have identified and diagnosed over 712 severe conditions from cancer to genital warts.

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