Burbank, CA — In an expected announcement from Warner Brothers Pictures, the entertainment giant says it plans on producing a Lego version of its hugely popular, Clint Eastwood-directed film American Sniper. According to a Warner Brothers internal memo, after a long negotiation with Legos executives, the giant media company was able to give them “an offer they couldn’t refuse.”
“We believe in synergies of properties and the American Way,” said Warner Brothers spokesman Jack Sleezeack. “What better way to enter the hearts and minds of American children by combining the whimsy of Legos and the truth and horrors of an empire-building war into a feature film. It’s not only a win-win for both companies, but it’s also a real win for entertainment buffs interested in America’s global hegemony. ”
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“It makes complete sense when you think it through,” said Jim “The Jeff” Bremfall of Morgan Stanley. “They own both franchises, and America is getting a heavy dose right now of why we’re number one. So Warner Brothers expands its reach. It’s almost like Lego Sniper is a sequel.”
Not everyone was thrilled about the prospect of converting a beloved childhood toy into a war movie for children.
“It’s hard to understand what’s more offensive here,” said Beth Feingold of Grass Valley. “Have we lost all sense of decency? I’m not a big war supporter, but this doesn’t seem to honor our soldiers. And who thinks a Lego movie about killing is a good idea for kids? It makes you wonder who’s running things.”
According to Warner Brothers, the 93-minute feature film will feature the voices of Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller, who are still under contract for subsequent “Sniper-related” films. Neither actor could be reached for comment.
Filming and voice-overs are set to begin in September in time for a Christmas “popcorn” release.