December, 2021

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Latest

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.

Why I Should Be The Next Supreme Court Justice

There is a lot of controversy going on in our government about the next Supreme Court justice and who should be allowed to choose them. I have a simple solution, choose me.

Dalai Lama Finds Time to Relax with a Fidget Spinner

His holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, surprised audience members at this year's 7th Annual Ohio Spiritual Awakening Festival or OSAF when he mentioned that he used a fidget spinner to occasionally "relax and center himself after a hectic day."

Native Americans Build Wall Through Arlington National Cemetery

After being betrayed by the Federal government once again, a group of Native American activists are striking back.

Area Naturopathic Doctor Wonders Why He Hasn’t Been Murdered Yet

A local naturopathic doctor is perplexed as to why he has not been the target of the global 'Big Pharma' conspiracy to murder alternative health professionals.

EPA Abandons Chemtrail Cleanup Program Following Trump Budget Cuts

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced today during a weekly press conference that it will suspend all activity around geoengineering investigations and related clean-up programs.

Study: Eating Pringles Raises Risk of Being Strangled by Bed Sheets

A 2 year study conducted by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation found that the popular potato and wheat-based snack food Pringles is Earth's most popular food.

Mormons/Scientologists to Join Forces

After realizing that both American-born religions share numerous similarities in both their mythologies and "spiritual technologies," leaders in both church organizations have decided to merge in order to increase their "synergistic reach into new demographics."

Popular

Area Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Buy Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

Teenager Informs Family that it is Time to Leave

15-year-old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley abruptly informed his family on Wednesday that he "was ready to go home" from their outing at the Yuba River.

Must Read

Chemtrail Debate Reveals Deep Divide in the State of Jefferson Movement

A debate has opened up between State of Jefferson supporters in Southern Oregon and their Californian cohorts over the Chemtrail controversy.

A Reddit Argument Convinces Special Counsel Robert Mueller to End Russia Probe

After a tough 3 day Facebook argument, Special Counsel Robert Mueller is officially closing the investigation into the Trump campaign and the Russian hacking into the election. After a heated 72 hour battle with Trump supporters On Reddit.com's popular subreddit "the_donald," Mueller finally caved.

Local Black Man Banned From Nevada County Store For Being “GMO”

Local African-American Michael Noble was shocked today when he entered a local Organic supermarket for spices and poppy seeds, only to have the manager and an off-duty Nevada County Sheriff force him out of the store for being a "GMO".

Republican Man Buys Gun So He Can Worry About Obama Coming For It

John Jessup exercised his Second Amendment right so that he could "truly know the horrors of worrying about Barack HUSSEIN Obama coming to take" his new gun away.

Leaked FEMA Document: Motel 6 To Be Used as Emergency Camps

According to the conservative site RightWingNewsNow! who obtained an exclusive leaked Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) document, the disaster preparation organization has been funneling millions of dollars over the past 40 years into the budget hospitality company Motel 6.

Denzel Washington to Play George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life Remake

Famed Hollywood actor Denzel Washington agreed to take on the iconic George Bailey.

Stephen King Spotted at Local Grocery Outlet

American author of contemporary horror, supernatural fiction, suspense, science fiction, and fantasy Stephen King was spotted this weekend shopping at the popular discount supermarket Grocery Outlet.

People Who Swear Have Higher Fucking IQs, by Loretta Splitair

I've done some research on the topic, and I can unequivocally tell you that...

ANTIFA Space Force Plans Independence Day Raid on Humboldt County

Residents are advised to wear masks, however, due to confirmed law enforcement reports that Antifa Space Force will be utilizing aerial surveillance satellite footage

Vladimir Putin to Honor Nevada City Resident

Current Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin is set to honor Nevada City resident Sairhra Ruman in what is said to the be the first award ever received by an American.

Gun Violence Caused by Assholes Not the Mentally Ill, Study Claims

A groundbreaking study reveals the true cause of gun violence.

Hurricane Florence Found Dead on Southern Man’s Front Porch

Wrightsboro hog farmer George Reed Wambles took it upon himself to take care of what he called "the fake news media hysteria."

Activists Win 5G Illness Disability Claim

Two North San Juan activists have won a landmark decision in the County Court allowing them to receive disability benefits for something called electromagnetic hypersensitivity or EHS. Merrilee Longshoes and Skyy Wolford of North San Juan, CA have been working for over two years to get their case through the court system.

Lifestyle

Area Meat Cutter Has Had It With Chicken Breasts

Area meat cutter Paul Payne is just about out of patience with his customers. He's worked behind the counter as a meat cutter answering locals' questions about fish, meat and poultry for over 17 year. However late Monday night towards the end of his shift, he confided in his boss Joe Wright that he was sick and tired of explaining chicken breasts to his customers.

UFO Caught Sucking Water Out Of California Lake

A local pilot and amateur photographer has shared an exclusive photo with Gish Gallop depicting a UFO hovering over Scotts Flat Lake.

Area Man Breaks Nose Motorboating

What started as a fun night out at the Nevada Club ended with a trip to the emergency room for a Grass Valley man Monday night.

Donald Trump Suing Nevada City’s Trump Tacos

Trump Enterprises announced today that it plans on suing a small California taqueria for infringing on the Presidential Candidates trademarked name.

Fox News #1 With “People Who Stare at TV All Day” Demographic

The Fox News Channel captures critical, old, white television market.

Soul Kitchen Closes, Saying Penn Valley Not a Good Fit

Penn Valley's Angel's Soul Kitchen restaurant is apparently dead on arrival. The newly-opened 'Soul Kitchen' felt obliged to shut its doors after only 24 minutes of operation. There may be hope, however.

New Study Claims Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

A new 4-year study confirms what many girls already know.

Business

Local Police Fighting Back Against the War on Christmas with Antlers

The Grass Valley, CA police department has opened a new battle line in the war on Christmas this year. Attempting to both soften the image of police and send a message to liberal elites around the country, the small former gold rush town's law enforcement announced today that they will install mule deer antlers and Christmas wreaths on all patrol vehicles.

Man Worried About Well Level Accidentally Runs It Dry

A Hidden Valley Road man accidentally ran is well dry after repeatedly testing the volume throughout the day on Sunday.

John Kerry/Marco Rubio Square Off in Boat Race

Partisans are taking their bets as news of Secretary of State John Kerry and Republican Presidential hopeful Senator Marco Rubio square off in an epic boat race, Gish Gallop has learned. Both government heavyweights are both on record as wanting to "settle the score" on which boat is faster.

The Flat Earth Society to Fight the Coronavirus

The Flat Earth Society has a plan to rid Earth of the novel Coronavirus.

Test Your Smarts: Is it Detroit or Chernobyl?

Can you tell the difference between a Detroit school and a Chernobyl (Pripyat, Ukraine) one? Take Gish Gallop test and find out. Be sure sure to share your results with your friends on Facebook or Twitter.

Internet Researcher: Asheville, North Carolina Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Asheville, North Carolina is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

Satirist Tragically Mistaken for Whistle Blower

Last Saturday satirist Harry Kellop was shot dead in a friends doorway in Ullapool by what is believed to be a professional hit.

Sports World Baffled by Cam Newton’s Bad Mood

  San Francisco, CA The NFL's┬áCarolina Panthers quarterback Cam...

More Galloping

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.

Why I Should Be The Next Supreme Court Justice

There is a lot of controversy going on in our government about the next Supreme Court justice and who should be allowed to choose them. I have a simple solution, choose me.

Dalai Lama Finds Time to Relax with a Fidget Spinner

His holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, surprised audience members at this year's 7th Annual Ohio Spiritual Awakening Festival or OSAF when he mentioned that he used a fidget spinner to occasionally "relax and center himself after a hectic day."

Popular

Area Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane, Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

Mike Pence: Gay Conversion Therapy Saved His Marriage

In a surprise announcement today, Indiana Governor and Vice President-elect Mike Pence said that gay conversion therapy saved his marriage.

Mike Bloomberg Threatens To Buy Trump’s Debt

What can Mike Bloomberg do with Trump's debt?

ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and 3 Others Dead in Fiery Car Crash

Authorities in Houston announced this morning that a fiery car crash last evening took the life of Texas native and ZZ Top guitarist, Billy Gibbons.

Hillary Clinton Found Dead Of Apparent Suicide

According sources close to the Clinton campaign, the Democratic nominee had come to see herself as the chief obstacle in winning the White House.