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Chemtrail News

Wiccan Chemtrail Sky Dragon Takes First Flight

North San Juan resident and chemtrail researcher Skyy Wolford is relieved that his Wiccan Sky Dragon has taken his first flight to defeat the Chemtrail geoengineering scourge.

Bernie Sanders Calls for Eco-Friendly Chemtrail Reform

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders made a surprise campaign stop in Nevada County on Monday afternoon. Sanders visited the area to announce his plan for a more environmentally friendly chemtrails program.

Conspiracy Researcher: Sedona, Arizona Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Sedona, Arizona is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls "the Sedona anomaly" for the past 3 years.

South Park Creators to Produce Jade Helm 2020: The Musical

The creators of South Park are promising a musical version of the 2015 military exercises called Jade Helm.

Chemtrail Reduction Program Kills Off Last Unicorn

Sadness swept across the 'woo-o-sphere' late today as news spread that the last remaining  flying Unicorn was accidentally killed by a Chemtrail reduction program. The Redding, CA-based Chemtrail Action Network or CAN has been developing a patented anti-Chemtrail "shield system" for over 5 years largely with donations gathered from its website.

Chemtrail Debate Reveals Deep Divide in the State of Jefferson Movement

A debate has opened up between State of Jefferson supporters in Southern Oregon and their Californian cohorts over the Chemtrail controversy.

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Millennial Voters: Legless Teen Beats The Streets For Trump

Janks was born, premature, on a cold December evening in Yuba City, California in 1997. His birth mother was 13 years old and a victim of incestuous sexual assault. It was very clear to the birth staff at the hospital that this baby would have a tough go at life.

Woman Hides from Jehovah’s Witnesses

La Barr Meadows, CA -- Local work-from-home woman Stephanie Aldleson has successfully avoided the 5th attempt of the Jehovah's Witnesses to give her the Good News. "Fortunately, I have a long driveway as you...

The Sneetches Donald Trump’s Favorite Toilet Book

The press got a rare glimpse into the defecation practices of President Trump the past weekend when the alt-right website Breitbart.com published an expose' of his favorite "crapper" books.

Democrat Scientists Create New Virus To Avoid Going Back To Work

The leader of a team of scientists secretly creating what's been dubbed "the lazy virus" is under arrest.

The Four Horsemen Appearance Over Trump’s Scottish Golf Course Has Citizens Spooked

Residents of the Turnberry resort in Scotland were spooked over the weekend when the four horsemen of the apocalypse appears over the signature Trump golf course, the UK Daily Mail is reporting.

First Wave of Syrian Refugees Reach Menominee Michigan

Earlier this week, the first wave of Syrian refugees, approximately 2,000 of the expected 4,500, finally reached the Menominee Marina in downtown Menominee, MI. The remaining refugees are expected to land over the next few days, depending on the weather and conditions of Lake Michigan.

Rush to Release Long-lost Disco Album

Progressive rock band Rush is planning one releasing a collection of 1978 disco outtakes.

Charles Leads Climate Change Fight By Eating Children

The Prince of Wales announced that he had initiated his own "cap and trade" program.

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