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Chemtrail News

Conspiracy Researcher: Sedona, Arizona Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Sedona, Arizona is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls "the Sedona anomaly" for the past 3 years.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Terminate Program

Donald Trump accompanied by select members of his cabinet toured a chemtrail-outfitted dispersal airplane at Andrews Air Force Base yesterday afternoon, according to a news report today.

New Study: Chemtrails Are Great For Your Complexion

At Sierra Community College in Grass Valley, CA, science student Sandra Willis has made an ironic discovery about the utility of chemtrails: they are great for your complexion. Unfortunately, Sandra Willis' discovery might sway naysayers into the pro-chemtrail camp.

Sacramento to Disclose Addresses of Registered Anti-Vaxxers

In an announcement designed to proactively combat a potential pandemic, officials in Sacramento County declared that it plans to publish the names and addresses of "vaccine protesters."

Area Musician Draws Inspiration from Chemtrails

Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.

‘Sheeple’ No Longer Acceptable as Insult

You don't hear much about animal husbandry in Nevada County  news these days. Sure, we have the 4H and NCAPSPCHAFFA, but the men and women running these farms – you just don't hear their voices very much. Far less is heard from their livestock.

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Mass-Stabbing in Colorado Leaves Many Dead, Several Wounded and a Few Scratched

A man walked onto the Colorado campus this morning and began what survivors call a stabbing spree.

Military Officials: “No Measurable Outbreak” in Cedar Creek, CA

Officials are urging calm stating that there is no "significant outbreak" in Cedar Creek, CA.

Trump Calls Punching Self in Dick “Patriotic”

Following the rally, many spoke of the privilege of punching themselves in the dick.

Home Depot Promises to Sponsor 129 Miles of Border Wall if Trump is Re-elected

What makes Home Depot's announcement novel is not that they're funding sections of the wall but rather how they will do it.

God Applauds Fake News Ban

God, the creator of all, the seer of everything that is, has been and will be is reportedly overjoyed with recent moves by popular Internet companies to limit and in some cases out-right ban so-called fake news sites.

Many Billionaires Warn Americans of the Dangers of Socialism

For their part, most Americans cherish their billionaire overlords.

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Dilbert Seeks Restraining Order Against Creator Scott Adams

"That's where it starts to get creepy," said Dilbert in a brief press conference outside the Martinez courthouse. "Who does that? It makes a house look like a person. Look, I respectfully decline the invitation to join his hallucination. And he needs to stay away from me."

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